To Faten:
Well gal I've read your blog.
And I'm touched by your concern.
I too hoped that I can shared my problems with you
But I just can't
I don't know why
But its hard for me.
I only want to share my happiness with u gals
U gals have your own life
N so do i.
I know that if possible I tell everything to you.
But i just can't bring myself to do that.
I know I've change to someone that
I,myself despise.
I'm trying to change back
But not now.
It's not the right time yet.


Well I know I've change to someone
that I,myself don't even recognized.
I know I've change to someone
who is evil.
I hate myself.
I hate what I've done to n with other guys.
Damn.
Stop.
I'm sorry.
ARGHH!!
What have I done.
Shoots.
Now i realized that I've fooled around with MANY guys.
Damn it.
I shouldn't be that way
Fucked up!
This isn't me.
I ain't a player.
I just want to be happy n filled up my loneliness
in life.
But it seems
I have drift away too far.
No one can save me
except
for myself.
I have to change back things to where it should be.
Damm!!
Just because I drink n smoke
doesn't make me a bad person.
I just need someone
just one
to hold me back.
Grab me from the back.
And show some guidance to life.
I hate myself.
Its a disguise.
I want to change
but not now.
I just need time and space
to be alone.