Well yeah after I recieved message
from my bestie(Faten)
I cry.
I don't know why I've been so emotional.
But seriously I think its time for me to speak-up.
Darl its not that i dont want to hang out with u
or share my probs with u gals.
Its just u gals been so-so busy with ur bf/life.
As a close friends
I try to understand
But as day by day
every single outing,
Its like making me bored.
Cos u gals keep on bringing ur guy.
I dont mind.
But i just wished we had our gals night out
shared things
n problems.
I just wished that its just us the gals.
I know I've been selfish n self-centered.
But just once.
Just once we had girls out.
Yeah true I'm abit of jealous
N feel agitated.
But i try to put strong front
n faked smile
cos I don't want to hurt u gals
or spoil the mood.

Thats the reason why
I keep on goong out with my closest bestie(Dhil)
And she's been helping me
n advise me on stuff.
Yes some can say that she might lead me astray
But i dont think so.
I know she is much trustworthy.
Faten dont blame urself cos
of what his happening to me right now.
Seriously right now I've been drift away
so far away.
To the extend that no one can save me
except myself.
I don't even recognized to
what I have become.


And about guys.
I'm just fling around with them
Nothing wrong with that.
Yes I'm a flirt
but
at least I don't flirt
with attached guys.
But at the time
of flirting
I too made a mistakes
n many wrong moves.
And I'm tried.
Exhausted.
Guys come n go in my life.
Now i don't give a damn.


Well Faten
u want to know what happen
between me n Fad.
Well here it goes.
I dont trust him
I doubt him
I dont have any feelings for him
at first.
But
as day by day passed
as we contact each other
He proved to me
he want to be there for me.
He proved to me he want to gain
the trust n love from me.
But as for me.
I bustard him.
I keep on rejecting every meeting with him.
I get to know many other guys aside from him
Den I get to know new guys
I forget him for awhile.
I know I'm bad.
I know I'm like a player but who cares.
Cos to me all of them are just friends.
Hmm.
But den I feel something missing from my life
FAD.
I missed him so terribly,
I dont know why.
But somehow I feel like
I'm starting to fall for him.
His concern abt me,
his love towards me
Jus make me fall for me deeply,
But still I didn't grab hold of him
I don't know why.
Its just my ego.
I let my ego control me.
For god sake.
As day goes by,
I've started to lose him.
And i know right now his found new one.
N it really disheartening
N i regret cos I nvr grab hold of him.
But after I think back.
He deserved someone better.
Someone who he don't need to worry about.
So right now
I'm trying to filled up the emptiness.
But sometimes I feel
this isn't what I want.
But I still carry on with it.
Dammn it.


Darling you dont need to worry bout me.
I will stop when I feel enuf is enuf.
Its just let me be.
Let the reality hit me
den i will realized it.
I will still LOVE YOU DARL
N the RASCAL too.
N I'm still the same lala
when I'm with u gals.!!!
Muacks